You wouldn’t believe it, the singer remarks. There she was preparing for her first album release in nearly a decade, ecstatically in love with her newish partner, and at long last the mother of a toddler after struggling to conceive for ten years, feeling invincible. Suddenly in March she was found to have breast cancer.
The musician, actual name Jess Cornish, is known for telling it as it is. The LP, her latest release, was intended as an open book, addressing every moment of pain she’d faced since she last recorded music (endometriosis, pregnancy loss, unsuccessful partnerships, emotional abuse, suicidal thoughts) with typical candour. The lead track, the song No Secrets, was launched in April. But by then there was a mighty secret. The illness. Then second single, her song Living My Best Life, was released in May and the artist was talking to press about how she was living her best life, while at the same time dealing with her cancer. A month later she went public, and in the start of summer she had a mastectomy.
She shoots me her best “What the fuck?” expression. “I come out with a song called No Secrets. I’m doing every press talk, and they’re, like, ‘What’s happening?’ and I respond, ‘Uh, nothing really’” the singer has just had to postpone shows because she’s still waiting for cosmetic procedures.
We’re at a photo studio in London. She is dressed in a light brown synthetic jacket, denim trousers with elaborate white patches, cream boots and big frames. Imagine biker chic meets 70s singer aesthetic. “As if I’m in the 70s and I should have a partner with a mustache.” Easy Rider, I say, thinking of the movie. “They used to call me that!” She smiles. She is fast-thinking, unfiltered and blunt. She says she has always been interested in humor and is planning to attempt her standup debut in the coming year. “I love making people laugh. On stage I frequently joke about the fans.”
Medical Challenges and Discovery
She was preparing for an slot at the Baftas when she discovered a mass. “I quickly sought to get it examined, had an test, and they were, like, ‘It looks like nothing; your breasts are normal.’ And I insisted, ‘However, it’s there. I have arm pain and numbness in my fingers whenever I wake up.’ And they suggested, ‘How about a biopsy?’ That was 28 March, the day after my birthday.” It was a Friday. The doctor told her if it was serious she’d call on the start of the week. By then the singer had persuaded herself it was okay. The way she tells it, it was simply too inconvenient to receive a diagnosis when she had a busy schedule.
“Just two weeks before from debuting the project after years away and no new music. And she [the doctor] texted and said, ‘Is six okay?’ And I assumed, ‘It’s virtual, probably routine.’ So I jump on the Zoom expecting it’s all going to be fine, and she goes, ‘Please take a seat.’ The solemn tone? And she continues, ‘I regret to inform you but your reports have come back as high-grade cancer cells.’” What was your reaction? “I said, ‘Oh, that’s not ideal, is it?. What awful timing.’ My initial thought was, ‘I can’t die because my son needs me.’”
Men have called me difficult because I’m a strong person who understands who I am
She found the surgery scary and bizarre. “I dislike anesthesia. They walk you down. During crises you go on a gurney, but this time I just strolled down with a medical attire and my backside out. Like a dystopian scene.” But, she adds, she’s been lucky. No chemo, no radiotherapy, just the surgery. “It’s terrible, but you know what? Thank fuck I found it early. The surgery happened a few months back and my right breast now resembles a grapefruit under a tight bedsheet.” A further beam. “The nipple was preserved.”
The subsequent surgery is both medical and cosmetic. Her boobs, she observes, are now “uneven. The size doesn’t match. How rude! I felt, don’t add insult to injury, I’m already having a difficult experience. So rude! It’s funny because I said I’d avoid breast surgery because I’ve got obsessive tendencies, and I know they’d never be flawless. Cancer ruined that plan.”
Previous Struggles
She is accustomed to medical issues. She believes her attitude toward illness has been so optimistic because she’s used to physical challenges. Many times they occur alongside peak moments, functioning as a wake-up call, or shock, to highlight not to be complacent. “Truly, I feel fate says, ‘You having a good time? Hold on.’ Ever since I was a child, it has often paired with high points for me; something severe or obscure has affected my well-being.”
She reminisces to her 11-year-old self, already beginning featuring in the stage in the production (she was cast at the age of nine). That’s when she was diagnosed with the cardiac issue a syndrome, which can cause a rapid pulse as well as vertigo and heart flutters. “I rehearsed between visits on an drip, and being readmitted at night.” She fast-forwards six years, and teenage Jess has joined the trio Soul Deep while enrolled in the Brit School. “I secured a deal, and I had a brain incident. Then when I was about to put out music in recently I had a car crash and my throat was injured and I lost my voice for a twelve months.”
Wow, I say, hold on, I am overwhelmed. A stroke so young? She nods|agrees
